


Breaking Down

by Green_Arrows_of_Karamel (Mare9548)



Series: Enraptured Submission [5]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Angst, D/s relationship, Domme!Felicity, Heavy Angst, I truly am, I'm so sorry for this, Multi, Polyamory, Smoaking billionaires, So much angst, sub!Tommy, switch!Oliver, tw: unpleasantry of having a loved one between life and death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 08:52:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13314738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mare9548/pseuds/Green_Arrows_of_Karamel
Summary: Felicity struggles to remain strong while Oliver and Tommy fight for their lives in the hospital.





	Breaking Down

**Author's Note:**

> Look what 2018 brought! Could be a sign of the Apocalypse? maybe LOL
> 
> Gosh!! so long since I updated this series! But finally, my muse decided that it was time to finish this one-shot. If you're looking for smutty, dirty times, I regret to tell that you won't find that here. Sorry!
> 
> Instead, my muse was set in angst mode and made me write the most heartbreaking and angstiest thing I've ever written. So get ready because this will destroy you.
> 
> You've all been warned. Read at your own risk.
> 
> PS: This is a direct sequel to Twist of Fate (the previous work on the series), so you might want to read that first if you haven’t yet (or to refresh your memory)

**_April 2014_ **

The worry was clawing Felicity inside. She was a walking wreck since she got the call from the hospital telling her that Tommy had been in an accident and she needed to go to Starling General as soon as possible. The nurse told her little details over the phone, nothing other than it was serious. Felicity only learned how bad it was when she got to the hospital.

Tommy was between life and death.

She was still trying to understand how Tommy ended up impaled in that freak accident. How her beloved puppy could be hurt that way? Why did have to fight for his life? His prognosis wasn't good. Dr. Lockhart said the surgeons would do everything they could to save him, but no promises. Felicity's horror didn't end there, though. Her worry doubled up when she had entered the waiting room where a nurse said she could hang out until Tommy was out of surgery. She never expected to find Moira and Thea Queen there, at the unholy hours of the morning. Both visibly shaken and worried.

The youngest Queen stood and went to hug Felicity tight, as soon as she saw her. Despite their many differences, they formed a nice friendship. Oliver's sister was a little wild, but with a huge kind heart, which made her easy to love.

"Oh, Felicity," she sobbed.

"Thea? Wha— Mrs. Queen, what are you doing here?" but as she asked, it dawned on her. Oliver. He was the only reason for the Queen women being there. The axis of her world made another sudden turn. Her intense emotions threatened to overwhelm her.

"Oliver,” Mrs. Queen confirmed. “He was with Tommy in the accident."

"But, why?" Felicity asked, in a tremulous voice. "Tommy told me Oliver was working late and they canceled their date."

By the sour expression that Mrs. Queen made, Felicity realized she said the wrong thing. The Queen matriarch looked away, pursing her lips demonstrating blatant dismissal. Felicity was well aware how disapproving Moira was about Oliver's life, of her relationship with him. A miracle had been that she spoke to Felicity before, but no more. Telling the truth, Felicity couldn't care less, not under the present circumstances. Usually, she didn't have the energy or the will to deal with close-minded people, and especially when the two men she loved were in hospital beds.

"Mr. Queen went to see Mr. Merlyn at the club after he left Queen Consolidated Headquarters last night," John broke in; his formal speech was no doubts due respect to Mrs. Queen.

Felicity's chaotic state of mind was left in evidence. Her thoughts were so focused on Tommy, and more recently on Oliver as well, that she missed Diggle's bulky and strong presence in the room when she first walked in. Diggle was the chief of security for the Queens, which in occasions, he took the job as Oliver's personal bodyguard. But for what she had seen in the last two years, she knew that their association went beyond that. They were friends, great friends. And the emotion on the man's voice was a proof of that. John was worried about Oliver, too.

"Is he okay? What happened to Oliver?"

Diggle explained to her all the police had told them. They were still investigating, but apparently, a truck suffered a technical malfunction and the driver lost control of it. Tommy, who was driving Oliver's car, couldn't steer clear of it and crashed into the 750 truck.

"Oliver got a concussion, he broke his leg and three ribs, and one of his lungs collapsed," Thea added, sniffing, and wiping her tears clean. "He's in surgery now to repair his leg, but the doctor said that, if there are no complications, he's going to be okay."

That soothed Felicity an infinitesimal degree. She wouldn't believe it until she saw Oliver herself. Felicity needed to feel him. The need to take care of him swelled inside her.

"How's Tommy?" Thea asked her. "The nurse didn't say anything to us."

Felicity swallowed the huge lump in her throat and said, "Not good. He's also in surgery, but the doctors don't want to give much hope."

Her voice broke at the end and a sob escaped her. Hot tears ran down on her cheeks, even when she tried to hold them back. She needed to stay strong for Tommy and for Oliver, but it was so hard. It wasn't fair. Just when she found the two men that made her life as perfect as it could get, now she was at risk to lose them both. Thea hugged her again, giving her a much-needed comfort.

When Thea invited her to sit next to her and her mother, Felicity declined the offer with the excuse that she needed to call Tommy's father. Talking to Malcolm Merlyn was the last thing she wanted to, but even being a lousy father to Tommy, he still had the right to know that his son was at the hospital.

Tommy definitely would get mad at her for it and she might regret later, but it was the right thing to do.

It was clear what Felicity was trying to do, though. It was obvious to everyone in the room that the tension between her and Moira could be cut with a knife. Felicity was trying to keep her distance and avoiding making it worse.

If something characterized the Queen family was their tenacity and stubbornness. And nobody had those traits more ingrained in her personality than Thea. She stopped Felicity, saying, "I can make that call. You stay here and wait for the doctor."

"I appreciate the offer, Thea, but—"

"But, nothing," Thea cut her off. "You're going to say 'thank you, Thea', and sit over here."

In other circumstances, Felicity would've put much more resistance. She rarely, not to say ever, she followed blindly the orders from others. Yet her worry consumed all her energy to fight. And Thea had her features hardened with determination. Oliver's sister exuded an unmistakable commanding air. Thea wouldn't take a no for an answer.

Resigned, Felicity let Thea push her down on to a seat, leaving a chair between her and Moira.

"I'll be right back, okay?"

Thea gave her a comforting squeeze on her hand, and Felicity returned it. She was grateful for the support, "Thank you," she said. The young woman nodded and went outside to make the call. When she was back, Thea brought coffees for her mother and Felicity, and sat between them.

So then, the true agonizing waiting began. For what it seemed an eternity, they sat there, talking very little and worrying a lot. It passed two hours, seventeen minutes, and twelve seconds —not that Felicity was counting— for Dr. Lamb, the Queen family's doctor, to go in and informed them that Oliver's surgery had gone well and that he would spend a day or two in the ICU.

"But, is he going to be okay?" Moira asked him.

The woman could be cold and snobbish with the rest of the humanity, but Felicity couldn't deny that she loved her children. The worry and love for Oliver were evident in the tone of her voice. Even when she had rushed to the hospital at the wee hours of the morning, she was impeccably dressed. She was the epitome of beauty and elegance. And yet, the lines of age on her face were more noticeable with a distress that was impossible to hide.

Dr. Lamb assured her that Oliver would recover fully. He'd be sore for a while and would need rehabilitation for his leg, but he was out of danger.

That mitigated a good chunk of the anxiety Felicity was feeling, but it wasn't enough. With no news about Tommy, she got more restless every second that passed. Several hours later, Felicity was at her breaking point. She went from sitting in shock to walk back and forth inside the waiting room. If Felicity didn't get some news right in that second, she would explode.

"Have faith, Felicity," John said, as she walked in front of him. "Tommy is a strong man, and the fact that he's still in surgery is good news."

Felicity froze at mid-step and whirled around, glaring at Diggle. They were alone in the waiting room since Moira and Thea had gone to see Oliver in ICU. Felicity wasn't with them because Moira had let her know that only family would be allowed to visit him. Thea protested, knowing how much her big brother and Felicity meant to each other. When she failed to convince her mother, she offered to cede her spot to her. Felicity declined because, with all the eagerness she had to see Oliver, she knew Thea wanted to see him too. He'd be okay with his family. On the contrary, Tommy had no one, but her. She needed to be there for when the surgery was over.

"Good news?!" Felicity knew she should control the hysteria in her voice, but the absurdity of what John said was more than what she could take. "You think that he, lying on an operating table, is a good thing?!"

Diggle got up, walked to her, and put his hands on Felicity's shoulders, giving her a little squeeze for comfort. "You misunderstood me. What I meant was that, if the doctors are still operating on him," John replied her with contrasting calm, "it means he's still alive. That's what you should focus on. Sometimes no news is good news."

"But it's been hours, Diggle. It's almost noon and we know nothing!" she said, no longer in loud voice. Emotions were clogging her throat.

"Let me go to the nurse station, maybe one of them know something or can do us the favor to find out, okay?"

The warm and sincere support he was giving her almost succeeded in breaking her. She closed her eyes, holding her tears back and nodded. John gave her another soothing clasp on her shoulders, before going to find a nurse. Before he left the room, a doctor went in, looking exhausted.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Vaca. You're the family of Tommy Merlyn?"

"Yes," Felicity said. "How is he? Is he going to be okay or is he d—?"

"He's alive," the doctor cut her off. "The procedure was successful and he’s holding on for now.”

“So, he’s gonna live?” A sparkle of hope ignited in Felicity’s chest, but it was soon extinguished.

“I’m going to be honest with you,” said the doctor. “Mr. Merlyn’s condition is extremely delicate. He coded twice on the table—”

“Oh, God!” Felicity gasped.

“We managed to bring him back and repaired the damage to his chest. He was very lucky. If the metal bar had impaled him an inch off in any direction, he wouldn't have survived. His situation is very serious and I cannot promise he'll come out of this, but we’re doing everything we can to increase his possibilities. At this point, all depends more on how strong he is… on his will to live. He’s a young and healthy man, which helps a lot, but the next few days are crucial. If he makes the next seventy-two hours, then his chances of survival will improve a great deal.”

That wasn’t what Felicity wanted to hear. She wanted the surgeon saying that Tommy would be okay and that she could take him home soon. That everything what had happened was nothing else but a scare.

“Can I see him?” she asked.

“He’s in recovery right now, and as soon he’s settled in ICU, I’ll ask a nurse to take you to him, all right?”

Felicity nodded. What else could she do? “Thank you, doctor.”

The woman left the waiting room as Felicity collapsed onto a chair, covering her face and sobbing. She could no longer keep inside all the pain and worry overwhelming her. Diggle sat next to her and pulled her into his embrace, providing the support as she broke down. Felicity was beyond anything else, not even caring that she was soaking John’s suit with her bitter tears.

Felicity wasn’t sure how much had passed until she controlled her sobs and tears, finally pulling away from Diggle. “Oh, um, I’m sorry. John, I didn’t mean to hijack your shoulder to cry on,” she sniffed, embarrassed. “I’m usually stronger, I don’t meltdown so easily. I-I can control my emotions much better than this.”

“Felicity, you’re saying nonsense. I’m glad to be here for you. Knowing how much you love Tommy and Oliver, I’d have worried if you didn’t feel overwhelmed by everything that’s happened. You don’t have to be strong all the time. I also care for them and I’ll be here for anything that the three of you need. Either is keeping you company, bringing you coffee, or lending you my shoulder to cry on, okay?

Felicity smiled a little and nodded, “thank you Dig. I’m happy to have you here, too.”

Felicity was wrong to think that her emotional breakdown in the waiting room was the lowest point where she would fall that day. She believed to be ready to go see Tommy when a nurse came for her. As soon as she went into the room where he was resting, she realized how mistaken she had been. In her opinion, the image before her was taken out of a horror movie. Tommy lay in the bed with his chest wrapped in bandages saturated with blood, and connected to a bunch of machines that controlled his vitals and helped him to breathe. He looked ghostly white and broken. If it weren’t because the monitors said so, Felicity would have sworn he was dead.

A half of her soul withered in that moment.

Coming closer to the bed, Felicity froze. Her muscles locked in and she wasn’t capable of touching him. She was afraid to cause him more harm or pain. Besides the horrible injury on the middle of his chest, Tommy had cuts and bruises all over his face and arms, so Felicity couldn’t figure out what place was good to lay her hand on. The chances were that he had bruises on his legs too, but she couldn’t see them because they were hidden under the white blanket covering him.

“Oh, my love, look at you,” she sobbed.

“It’s okay to touch him.” Felicity jumped a little, hearing the voice of the male nurse going into the room. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Hi, I’m Augustanus, but everyone calls me Gus. I’m one his nurse for the day shift, and I’ll be taking care of him.”

“I, um, I’m Felicity.”

The nurse walked to the other side of the bed to check the monitors and Tommy’s chart. “Anna, the nurse that let you in, told me that you are his girlfriend.”

Oh, Felicity was so much more than that, but that was the simplest label. She had no intentions to explain what Tommy was to her, how much he meant to her. “Yeah, I’m his girlfriend.”

“And says here in his file that you’re appointed as the person to made all the medical decisions for him.”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

A flashback from the night when Tommy asked to be his health proxy came to her mind.

*** * * * * * * * * ***

_They were in their home, snuggling on the couch watching a movie on the TV. She had Tommy's head on her lap, while she combed his silky dark hair with her fingers. In the previous days, she sensed that he had something in his mind, but he was not ready to share yet._

_“Felicity, can I ask you something?”_

_“Sure, Tommy,” she said, never pausing the caress in his head. “What is it?”_

_Pulling away from her lap, Tommy sat up and turned to face her. Taking a deep breath, he began, “I’ve been thinking this for a while now since I moved in with you actually, but after the conversation I had with my father on Monday, it became imperative.”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“Would be okay with you if I designate you as my Health Proxy?”_

_“Health what? What’s that?”_

_“I’m doing this legal document to name you —if you accept, of course— as the person that would make any medical decision for me in the case I can’t do it for myself.”_

_“Oh, Tommy, I— I don’t know what to say.”_

_“Just think about it, okay. I aware that I’m asking you to shoulder a huge responsibility, but I only trust two people in this world, and one of those is you. I know you’ll respect all my wishes and will do the best for me. Even if it’s a tough call to make.”_

_She took his hand on hers and looked into his eyes, “I’m honored that you’re thinking of me, but are you sure that you want that? Why me? You could ask Oliver, you know each other much longer than you and I. And if you don’t want him, then, isn’t usual to appoint a relative for this kind of things?” she asked, having his father in mind. Although pondering about it, they had such strained relationship that would be illogical for Tommy to choose his dad._

_“Yes, I could ask Oliver. I trust him as much as I trust you, but we both know that he'll struggle to follow my wishes if he doesn’t agree with me on something until he had no other choice. And, in the case that he must make the hardest decision of all, he’d blame himself for it for the rest of his life. I don’t want to put another burden on him. And family, Felicity, what family?” he snorted without any humor. “The only blood relation I have left is my father and I’d rather put my life in the hands of a stranger that I run into in the street than in his. That’s why I’m doing this. I have the certainty that if I ever get incapacitated, he’s going to take advantage of it.”_

_“Oh, Tommy…”_

_“I already let you rule parts of my life, what is it one more aspect of it?”_

*** * * * * * * * * ***

Back then, it took several long and thorough discussions about it until she finally accepted because it was beyond to control an aspect of his life, like the sexual. What Tommy wanted was for her to have complete power and responsibility for him. As in life and death decisions. Like in everything else about their relationship, every allowance and limit, each of his wishes was lay out open. It was an uncomfortable topic to explore. Nobody wants to speak about the worst-case scenario, but it was an unpleasant necessity. Felicity never imagined then was that eighteen months later she would be forced to wield that power.

Back to the present, Gus nodded and said, “If you allow me, I’d like to give you an advice.”

“Sure.”

“Before you make any decision be sure to have all the information and possibilities. If you have any doubts, ask questions to the doctors. If you’re left unsatisfied by the doctor’s answers, come and find me; we’ll talk. I know that right now you’re overwhelmed and you don’t see a way out, but we’re here to get you through this, okay. The doctors and the nurses, everyone here is going to take very good care of him. And you.”

His kindness brought more tears to Felicity’s eyes. Felicity had her emotions all over the place and she lost the ability to control them. Her breathing hitched as she started to weep again,

Gus, the nurse, walked near to her, “Can I hug you?”

He was practically a stranger, but he had shown to be such gracious person that Felicity nodded. Besides, she was breaking down again and she had no strength to hold herself together. She cried harder when Gus put his arms around her and rubbed her upper back in soothing motion. “That’s it, let it out,” he cooed.

Felicity couldn’t stop, her tears kept coming. Sadness, fear, and anger fueled them. She could’ve cried for hours or days and her tears would’ve never run out, but eventually, some self-control returned to her. When she pulled away embarrassed and with the intentions to apologize, Gus didn’t let her.

“I’m sure this isn’t your first bout of crying, and it won’t be the last, either. What’s ahead of you it’s difficult and draining. If you feel like crying, do it. Relieve the pressure, and then, move on. Otherwise, you won’t make it with your sanity intact.”

Felicity sniffed, “I guess y—you have seen it a lot happening in here.”

“Yeah, in my ten years as an ICU nurse I’ve seen pretty much every reaction that a human being can have in a situation like this. Nothing surprises me anymore. But also… I’ve been there where you are. I know how difficult this is and not all my nursing knowledge helped me then.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Everything worked out in the end, but it gave me an insight that I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise.”

“Thank you for the advice, and, you know, the hug.”

“You’re welcome. Now…” he urged her to get closer to the bed. “Don’t be afraid to touch him.”

“But what if— if I hurt him worse?”

“Believe me, you won’t. Your touch can be the anchor that he needs to fight and live. Hold his hand, talk to him. Right now he’s too medicated to respond to you, but don’t let that keep you from speaking to him. Let him know that you’re here with him, for him.”

Unsure, Felicity stretched out her arm and took Tommy’s hand with trembling fingers. She closed her eyes and swallowed a sob of relief to feel the warmth coming from him. It wasn’t the same as usual but the enough to assure her that he was still there.

“Here, take a seat,” Gus said, bringing closer a chair for her to sit on. “As long as you don’t interfere with the doctors or the nurses, you can stay with him all the time that you want, okay.” She nodded. Felicity had no intentions to leave Tommy bedside until she was one hundred percent sure that he’d be fine. “I’m going to make my rounds and I’ll be back in a bit to check on you guys,” he said before walking out.

“Gus,” Felicity stopped him by the door. “Thank you”

He gave her a small acknowledging nod and walked out.

Once she was alone with Tommy, Felicity tightened her hand around his and spoke with her whole heart. She hoped the best, but low were the chances of things turning out the way she wanted. She said what she needed to say before it was too late. “I’m here, Tommy, and I’m not going anywhere, okay. You have to wake up and heal. You have to, because I— I need you, puppy,” she said brokenly. “I love you so much, and I need you.”

The thought of losing him was unbearable. She could barely breathe, thinking about it. The entire situation was awakening her old abandonment issues. Consciously, she was aware that if Tommy left this world wouldn’t be by choice; but nonetheless, it would feel as if he was abandoning her. Just the thought of that possibility ignited her anger. “You won’t leave me, Tommy. You can't, you hear me! I’m ordering you to fight. You’re staying here with me… with Oliver. “

When Tommy remained unresponsive and unmoving, she begged, “Please.”

She repeated it a million of times in the course of the next few hours, getting nothing from Tommy. All the comfort she could take was that his critical condition didn’t worsen. He was holding up to life by the thinnest of the threads.

At some point, exhaustion set in, making her lean her head on the bed. Felicity wasn’t sure the exact second when she dozed off, but she woke up with a start sometime later. It took her a second to realize that a loud discussion, taking place in the hallway, had woken her up. A booming male voice disrupted the quiet environment. She looked at Tommy, calling his name. For a heartbeat, the hope for a miraculous recovery bloomed in her chest, being crushed in the next second. He was still unresponsive.

“This is outrageous. Who do you know who I am?!” bellowed the man outside, and Felicity recognized the disembodied voice.

“Oh, damn it! Exactly what I need right now,” her angry hiss dripped sarcasm in its purest form. Pained for the necessity to leave his side, Felicity lifted Tommy’s hand that she was holding to her lips, laying a kiss on it. “I’ll be right back, puppy,” she said to him before getting up and walking out of the room. Her ears hadn’t deceived her. There he was Malcolm Merlyn as she suspected he’d be. He had with him an entourage of what Felicity believed to be paramedics, close to his heels. They had a gurney and portable medical equipment with them.

“Please, I'd appreciate if you low your voice, sir. The patients in this unit are very sick and need silence,” said the doctor that stood by the nurse station, blocking the way. His tone was low but firm. "And as I told you, your son is in a critical condition and moving him right now would be counterproductive for his chances of survival. If you want him to live, the best thing that you can do is leaving him under our care. I guarantee you that, with the help of my staff, I’ll do everything in my power to bring him back to health.”

Getting ready for the unpleasantness that meant dealing with Tommy’s father, Felicity squared her shoulders and stepped closer to the group. “What’s going on?” At her sharp whisper, all the eyes fell upon her. Malcolm’s hateful stare singed her. Felicity returned her own with the same contempt. “Someone can explain to me what all the fuss is about?”

“I’m here to take my son,” Mr. Merlyn barked.

He was crazy if he thought she’d allow that. “Take him? Take him where?”

“Someplace where he’ll get the care of the best doctors in the world.” ‘ _And where you can’t see him_ ’ was left unsaid.

“As I was explaining to you, Mr. Merlyn,” the doctor cut in, “I can’t approve the transfer to another hospital. Not only because is against my medical advice, but because you’re not authorized to request that for my patient.”

“I’m his father!”

Felicity bit her tongue. That wasn’t the time or the place to express what she thought of his parental rights.

“May that so,” the physician continued, “it says in your son's history that he designated a health proxy, and that person is not you.”

“Then who?”

“Me,” Felicity said. “Tommy named me.”

If looks could kill, Felicity would have dropped dead in that second. Even when the stare was disturbing to the extreme, making a cold dread rush through her, she held her ground. Felicity lifted her chin defiantly.

“I should have known that it’d be you.”

Yes, he should have.

Taking courage from her love for Tommy, and boosted by the support from the medical staff, she warned Malcolm, “By the power he gave me, I’m telling you that Tommy is staying in this hospital until the doctors say he can go home. Not you, Mr. Merlyn, not anyone else has a say in it. Am I clear?”

Malcolm sneered to everybody standing up to him. Someone with less ego and a bit of decency would have accepted the defeat. Not him, though. He threatened them all, “This isn’t over. I’ll talk with the hospital director, even with the Secretary of Health if I have to, and I’ll have you all fired by the morning.” Then, he directed his contempt to Felicity, “And you won’t have control over _my_ son much longer. When I’m done with you, you’ll regret the day you met him.”

“That will never happen. That’s the luckiest day of my life. And you don’t scare me, Mr. Merlyn,” she said dauntlessly. Her words weren’t all that truthful because she knew what he was capable of with the power he had in the city, but she wouldn’t allow herself to be intimidated by him. Not when Tommy’s welfare was in jeopardy. If he wanted a war, that was what she would give him.

He probably bought her stalwart façade, because he pivoted around and walked away without saying another word. As soon as Mr. Merlyn and his entourage were out of sight, Felicity staggered slightly when her strength evaporated. Every encounter she had had with Tommy’s father in the past drained her energy, and this one followed the rule. She forced herself to get it together in the next heartbeat because she knew that Malcolm’s threat wasn’t in vain. He would do whatever to accomplish what he wanted. Therefore, Felicity couldn’t let her guard down. Breathing deep, she took strength from only God knows.

Someone called her name, “Felicity?”

Twirling around, she watched Thea walking closer through the hallway, “Hey.”

“Hi,” Thea said, and then asked, “Was that Tommy’s dad? Why was he yelling?”

“Unfortunately, yes, that was Mr. Merlyn. He’s angry because he realized he doesn’t control everything.”

That was the real reason for Malcolm being so furious. All that mattered to the man was having his son under his ferrous control. Felicity wouldn’t delude herself into thinking that he was genuinely concerned about Tommy’s condition. In fact, Felicity noticed how Mr. Merlyn took all day long to finally come to see his son. He didn't even ask to see Tommy —something she would’ve allowed. Denying him to visit Tommy in what could be his deathbed was just mean. In spite of everything, Felicity wouldn’t be petty to Mr. Merlyn.

“Oh.”

“He wanted to transfer his son to another facility, but I’m the one making that kind of decisions for Tommy while he’s unconscious, so Mr. Merlyn can’t move him,” Felicity clarified. Not wanting to talk about the subject anymore, she changed the subject to another equally important to her, “How’s Oliver?”

Thea gave her a small smile, saying, “Sore and bruised, but he’s gonna be fine. He's worrying sick about Tommy, though. Mom didn't want to tell much about Tommy's condition so not to upset Ollie, but I think he worries more that way. He has also been asking for you; Ollie misses you. You should go and see him.”

“What about your mother? She doesn’t want me there.”

“Don’t worry about her. She went home to rest before coming back tonight. And I’m sure that Oliver’s wishes supersede hers, so she can’t do much about keeping you away from the room now that Oliver is conscious. He’s taking a nap right now, but I’m sure he’d love to wake up and find you there.”

Felicity bit her lip as her stomach turned with indecision. Her gaze shifted back and forth between Thea’s face and Tommy’s room, trying to come up with a choice. Impossible to pick between the two men she loved; it tore her apart. She was dying to see Oliver, but didn’t want to leave Tommy alone. How she wished she could split in two. Finding a balance between affections is the hardest thing in a polyamorous relationship like theirs. Feeling the guilt for giving more attention to one than the other could be devastating. The inner conflict that Felicity had probably was evident in her demeanor and Thea offered her a solution.

“I’ll stay with Tommy while you are with Oliver.”

“You don’t mind?” Felicity asked her, with a tone laden with gratitude.

“Why would I? Tommy is like a brother to me, too, Felicity. I love him. Between you and me, we can take care of our family.”

Tears welled up in Felicity’s eyes. The fact that Thea recognized her as part of the family meant the world to her. The feeling was 100% reciprocated. Thea had become the little sister that she always wanted to have. Felicity wrapped her arms around her and pulled her closer for a hug. “Thank you.”

Hugging her back, Thea said, “You’re welcome.”

“Talk to him,” Felicity advised when she pulled back. “If anything changes, you let me know.”

Thea nodded. “Oliver is at the last room down the hall. Go to him.”

They walked side by side through the hallway until Thea went into Tommy’s room. Then, Felicity padded the rest of the way to Oliver’s room.

_The anticipation that Oliver was feeling was a molten river coursing through his veins. The craving to continue what he had started at the club grew as he and Tommy got closer to their destination. They were heading to downtown. Going to the Queen Mansion was out of the question. Oliver's mother might have been blind and deaf of her own choice when it came to Oliver's love life, but he was sure she would hit the roof if Tommy spent the night there as his lover. She wasn't willing to accept Tommy as anything beyond Oliver's best friend. As for Oliver, he was getting to the breaking point, putting with his mother's obstinacy. Neither Tommy nor Felicity deserved the disdain of Moira Queen._

_But that was a subject for a different time._

_Going to Felicity and Tommy's place might have been a more acceptable option because Felicity always respected their date night, as a time for only the two of them. She wasn't bothered by Oliver spending the night in the apartment. Yet, it was well past three in the morning. If Oliver's plans went well, would neither he nor Tommy_ be _quiet for the rest of the_ night. _They were never. So, he didn't want to disturb those hours of precious sleep she had left before getting up for work. As CEO, Oliver had the privilege of being late if he wanted to without_ many _consequences, but that wasn't her case. Felicity had to get up early in the morning to get to QC in time._

_Besides, she would make them pay for waking her up in the middle of the night. Miss Smoak never let slide any insensitivity on their part. She liked her pets well behaved. And they were her good boys._

_The other option they had was to go to the loft they owned for almost a year now. At first, Felicity had only rented the place, as a practical solution to where to meet when they wanted to have a scene. Hotel rooms became old too fast. And when their agreement surpassed the trial period, and it was obvious that their relationship grew stronger and deeper, heading to something more meaningful and lasting, the three of them decided to buy the loft. Through time, they decorated and furnished it to accommodate their kinky tastes and needs. In technical terms, it was a loft, but it'd more accurate to call it a dungeon._

_The next few hours could turn out very interesting. Oliver would have plenty space and tools to make the night unforgettable. With that idea embedded in his head, Oliver couldn't help but reach out to tease Tommy. He stroked his boyfriend’s thigh, just above the knee, and smirked as he got the reaction he expected. Tommy breathed in sharply and tightened his hold on the steering wheel as he moved his hand up, bit by bit closer to the growing bulge in his pants._

_"Oliver," the warning sounded much more like a plea, which made Oliver smiled wider._

_"Yes, Tommy?"_

_"I'm driving and... and you're distracting me."_

_"This is distracting you?" he asked, running his hand down to Tommy's knee and back up again. Tommy kept his eyes on the road, but his agitated breathing was a clear sign how much affected him Oliver's teasing. Oliver felt a wicked pleasure watching his boyfriend holding his breath, waiting... yearning the moment in which his hand would reach all the way up._

_Oliver laughed out loud when Tommy groaned half in frustration and half in relief when Oliver pulled his hand away. "I'm gonna have so much fun with you tonight."_

_Tommy blushed slightly and grinned, catching the wicked meaning of the words. Turning his head to Oliver, Tommy said, "Why I have the feeling you're going to make me beg? A lot."_

_"Because that's exactly what I'm planning to do," Oliver cracked up mischievously._

_Whatever the bratty reply that Tommy intended to give him was lost in the middle of the noise of tires skidding on the pavement._

_"Tommy, watch out!" Oliver screamed, a little too late. One of the very few vehicles on the road ahead of them, a 750 truck loaded with construction supplies, went out of control. Tommy tried to make an evasive maneuver, but it wasn't enough. They crashed into it._

**_* * * * *_ **

_It was the second time that Oliver regained consciousness since the crash, but this wasn't like before. The white-hot pain coursing through his body pulled him into his senses. Now, he could feel how bad he was hurting. He still was short of breath, and every time he tried to fill his lungs with fresh air, a new wave of pain assaulted him. His head hurt, too. But the worst was the sharp ache in his right leg. The mere effort to move it infinitesimally was enough to make him cry in agony._

_All around him was in chaos. Misshaped metal trapping him in, emergency response teams around trying to get him and Tommy out of the wrecked car. Oliver barely had energy enough to stay awake, so he didn't even try to follow what the people were saying or doing. All he did was to keep breathing and hold Tommy's hand. A delusion, no doubt, but it brought him some solace to think that he was anchoring Tommy to_ life _. He wanted to think that as long as he was grabbing his hand, Tommy would fight to stay alive._

_He didn't have to listen what the EMTs were saying or grasp the urgency with how the firemen were working to set them free. It was taking forever. Every minute that passed reduced their chances of surviving. Oliver was aware that a miracle was that Tommy continued to breathe. And being honest with himself, he was starting to think he might not make it either. Even with an oxygen mask on, he couldn’t get enough air. Each air intake was pure agony. He was suffocating slowly._

_He never knew when he drifted off, but he woke up again, feeling someone pulling his hand away from Tommy's. "No," he pleaded in a whisper._

_"You need to let go, sir," said the EMT lady who had been treating him. "We need to get you to the hospital."_

_"Hi—him… Tommy first."_

_She pried their hands apart. Oliver fought her as hard as he could, but he was too weak to win. "He'll be right behind us, as soon as he's freed, okay?"_

_He wondered if they'd ever managed to do that because the car continued half embedded into the truck and Tommy was still impaled. How would they save him? He had no much to say as they took him out of the car. As careful as they were, every move was agony to Oliver. The EMT gave him a dose of morphine, but it proved to be ineffective as he was jostled around. Oliver fought not to cry out loud. Without regard to his masochist streak, he wasn’t for that kind of pain or the circumstances._

_And yet, nothing hurt the most as hearing one of the EMTs treating Tommy as he exclaimed, "We got to get him out, now! We're losing him."_

_"Tommy! No! Tommy!"_

When Felicity went into Oliver’s room, she imagined that she would find him resting as peacefully as he could, under the circumstances. Instead, he was murmuring intelligibly and twisting in bed, as if he was in the middle of a bad dream. She came closer to the bed to soothe him.

“Shh, it's fine. Everything is okay,” she said, putting one hand on his chest and combing his hair with the other. As soon as she touched him, Oliver woke up startled.

"Tommy!" he shouted and then groaned in pain.

"Easy, easy. Relax, Oliver," as gently as Felicity could, she held him pinned to the bed. "You're in the hospital. You're safe."

Blinking, Oliver turned to her, "Fe—Felicity?"

"Hey, my love," she leaned down and kissed his forehead. "How are you feeling?"

Instead of answering her question, he did one on his own, getting agitated again. His eyes were wild and haunted as Oliver reached for her with desperation, "Tommy… where is he? What happened to him?"

Felicity swallowed hard as she grabbed Oliver's hand. She didn't know how to say it gently. Her pause to reply only made Oliver's anxiety get worse, provoking him a coughing fit. "He is… dead… isn't he?" he uttered between hard intakes of breath.

"Calm down, baby. Breathe." Felicity was getting worried —well, more worried than she already was— about Oliver. The monitors controlling his vitals were showing his distress. His heartbeat was elevated and his oxygen levels dropped a point.

Stubborn as always, Oliver was deaf to her plea. "Tell me!" was his hoarse demand.

"First, calm down," she begged more firmly this time. "Breathe with me. In… and out. That's it, again. In… out." She continued coaching him until Oliver's breathing settled down to a more serene state, bringing his pulse and oxygen in blood went back to an acceptable level. "That's my good boy," Felicity cooed.

"Tell me, please," he begged her while tears welled in his eyes.

"He's alive," Felicity caressed his cheek, trying to calm Oliver down further. "Tommy is in bad shape, but alive."

Oliver closed his eyes and turned his face away from Felicity as he muttered, "It's my fault."

Those three words broke Felicity's heart. They were filled with anger and self-recrimination. Swallowing the thick lump in her throat, Felicity set things right. "It was an accident, Oliver. Why would you say that it's your fault?" He ignored her, so she insisted, "Oliver, talk to me."

Silence.

Oliver shutting her out due to the guilt he felt made Felicity want to climb up the bed and wrap her arms around him to offer him comfort. However, she knew him too well. Coddling him then wouldn't do Oliver any good. He'd only go faster through the dark path of self-recrimination. For reasons that Felicity hadn't had figured out in the two years that she knew him, Oliver was prone to take the blame for everything bad that happened around him. And this was as bad as it gets.

The last thing Oliver needed was to become depressed for something that wasn't even remotely his fault. She wouldn't let him fall into such state.

What he needed was a wake-up call before it was too late.

Felicity squared her shoulders and leaned on the bed on her fisted hands. "Oliver, look at me," she ordered softly but firmly.

Anyone else could have thought Oliver had fallen asleep, considering his stillness and closed eyes, but she knew better. Even if he was playing deaf, his body betrayed him. The heart monitor showed how his pulse spiked as soon as she used her Domme voice. Oliver couldn't erase the conditioning he had been under the last couple of years as her submissive. He was able to ignore the order, but he couldn't stop his body from reacting to it.

"Pet, you know I don't like repeating myself. Open your eyes and look at me." Once again, her tone was gentle and loving, but adamant in the order. She wasn't taking a no for an answer.

For a few minutes, the only move Oliver made was tensing his jaw up. He seemed determined to disregard her presence and demand. Eventually, probably when realized that Felicity wouldn't go anywhere, he turned his head toward her and lifted his eyelids. Felicity's heart ached as she witnessed the pain reflected in Oliver's sky blue eyes. Her poor baby!

"That's my boy. Now tell me why do you say it's your fault, Oliver?"

"Because… it is!" he hissed laboriously. "I was the one… that… should have been… fucking… driving, not Tommy! He convinced me… to let him drive… and look what happened!"

Every angry croaked word was like daggers stabbing Felicity in the chest. She needed to make Oliver see how wrong he was and calm him down. His breathing was getting uneven. "That doesn't make it your fault," Felicity reasoned as a lone tear escaped and slid down her cheek. "And if it had been you driving, _you_ would be dead. The doctor said it… even as bad as it is, Tommy was lucky. If his injury had been only an inch up or down, he wouldn't have made it. You're taller than Tommy by twice that, which means you…"

"I'd have died. It should… have been… me," Oliver's voice broke into a coughing fit and the alarms went off.

"Baby, breathe, breathe," Felicity tried to soothe him, but it didn't work. "Stay with me," she pleaded Oliver as she pushed the calling button for a nurse. She didn't know what to do to help him.

Fortunately, a group of nurses and doctors barged into the room, taking the control of the situation. With her chest tight with worry, she stood out of the way in a corner. Felicity held on her own breathing while the doctors and nurses worked to stabilize Oliver. She was so scared for him.

She couldn't understand how her life was smashed into pieces in less than twenty-four hours. Felicity was afraid that it would never be whole again. Nothing would ever be the same.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Before I go I want to remind you to follow the series [**here**](http://archiveofourown.org/series/427216), so you don't miss any future installments. Also, that you can find me on Tumblr [**here**](https://green-arrows-of-karamel.tumblr.com) and [**here**](https://smoakedbondage.tumblr.com). Come to talk to me. I love hearing from my readers :)


End file.
